Sep 09

Gwar – Battle Maximus (2013)


Gwar - Battle Maximus

Attention Bohabs! In case you haven’t heard, the supreme beings of the universe in Gwar have released a new album Battle Maximus. What am I talking about, of course you have heard! The superior alien race has once again conquered our minds with the insane and hoarse music that drives our puny human minds to madness. Their inhuman songwriting and musicianship exceeds that of the scummy metal bands around today, so you will be forced to give yourself willingly to our creators and bask in their demented ways.

This new Gwar album is a taste of fresh blood. With more thrash influence from newest guitarist Pustulus Maximus, you hear his more thrashy roots while also delivering the brutality that we fear in the rulers of human scum. You can hear this in the second track Madness at the Core of Time with faster guitars and rapid drumming. Nothing Left Alive is one of the heaviest tracks in the album, and sounds like older Gwar, with classic indomitable low guitars. You can take it upon the masters of the universe to bring the headbang!

They Swallowed the Sun is the track you hear the most of Gwar’s reinvented sound. Rather than a blood-and-guts infused madness of a song, it’s a more chant-y track. I can definitely see this song leading to a circle pit during a live show, obviously one of human sacrifice that’s gore-filled. I, Bonesnapper sounds like a track you would hear from the thrash revolution of the 80’s. Well, if Gwar was a band from the thrash revolution from the 80’s. You can hear all of the old school influences such as the swift picking, rough drumming, and monotonous vocals. Now don’t think Gwar went Exodus on us. This track is still just as deranged, violent, and gorey as the other ones.

The title track Battle Maximus is an instrumental, and by golley am I glad they have an instrumental track. It really shows the more musician side of the band. It’s smart thinking for them. Finding new ways to control the minds of the human race and force us to worship them. I mean they are our creators, right? Falling is a different one for Gwar. It’s a slower track, and leaves the listener in a slump. But then Fly Now comes on, and completely blows your mind with its technicality and vigor. This track is the perfect way to end this diverse yet nefarious album.

Once again, the rulers of the universe proved their dominance over humanity. We, the parasitic dirt of the human race, can never match the glorious yet terrorizing force of Gwar. So what will Gwar do next to savage and destroy the human race? Well, they will conquer North American lands with Hatebreed for a few days in September, but then will return to North America for more slaughter in the fall with Whitechapel, Iron Reagan and A Band of Orcs. It’s critical for us to attend these morbid events and bow down to our masters, and gladly allow them to cover us with gore and to let them do diabolical acts to us. But the best part is that our alien leaders will never fail us, no matter how much they hate us.



1. Intro
2. Madness at the Core of Time
3. Bloodbath
4. Nothing Left Alive
5. They Swallowed the Sun
6. Torture
7. Raped at Birth
8. I, Bonesnapper
9. Mr. Perfect
10. Battle Maximus
11. Triumph of the Pig Children
12. Falling
13. Fly Now

Genre: Heavy Metal

Label: Metal Blade Records

Playing Time: 48 Minutes


Oderus Urungus – lead vocals
Balsac the Jaws of Death – rhythm guitar, background vocals
Jizmak Da Gusha – drums, percussion
Beefcake the Mighty – bass guitar, background vocals
Pustulus Maximus – lead guitar


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